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There is bound to be someone who will get angry at my attitude about this and believe that I do not deserve to have a child if this is how I really regard them, my former Dom told me as much. I have seen my friends become livid at me, but the truth is that I do not believe that feeling this way and not talking about it helps anyone, because if I do that then the people around me will never understand why it is that I just haven’t taken their advice, if I don’t pay them the courtesy of telling them how I feel… in any event, I suppose I thought that that was what one did with one’s friends and relatives. This piece has been hard for me to write for many reasons. I know that it is a ‘journal’ of my thoughts about my IVF. When I mentioned my upcoming IVF last year to some of my friends in The Playground one of them suggested that I blog about it and I thought at the time that that would have been a good idea. I was so excited about the prospect of sharing my battle (and I was arrogant. ”Hands jittering, Violet stood up, leaving her coffee unfinished. She hoped no one noticed the bare skin peeking out over her stockings. Unlike Alice, she wore a buttoned-up jean jacket for some modicum of modesty. Stepping outside, a cool autumn breeze teased the hems of their skirts.Grabbing Alice by the hand, Violet took a deep breath and prepared herself."It’s not a walk of shame if you haven’t done anything,” she assured herself, but she knew that statement wouldn’t be true for long.Only a block stood between them and the meeting point. For such a small street, shops and restaurants packed every nook and cranny. People turned to stare as they made their way through the early evening crowds.Of course they stood out like a sore thumb. Violet’s face burned with embarrassment as she tried to avoid their penetrating gazes.She shouldn’t have shaved yesterday. Now every step caused rough pubic stubble to rub uncomfortably against the fabric of her underwear like sandpaper, making it.
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